I don’t agree with people who say that children have a very happy, easy life, free of troubles and worries. I think that they all completely forgot what their life was like when they were shorter than the leg of the kitchen table. I do remember what I used to think about and, watching other kids, I realize that they also have similar thoughts. I remember, for example, getting upset quite often because I couldn’t reach this or that thing (the TV buttons for example, since I grew up in the 80’s and we didn’t have remote controls yet) and also being looked at, talked to and about as “just a kid”…I remember the frustration of having to ask permission for everything, even the most common things, like going out to play, wearing a skirt or pants, eating soup or fries, hanging out with this kid or with the other one…it was a never ending struggle! I didn’t dream, like other girls, to be a ballerina, a bride or a Disney princess. I just dreamed that one day I would be a grown up, like all of them, my parents, my teachers, people on the street, who didn’t have any of the troubles I had, although, for some strange reason that I couldn’t figure out, they seemed terribly unhappy with their life and kept adding that they wish they were in my place. Bollocks! I still think the same. I’m very happy that I can decide for myself, especially the eating part. I decided that I’m going to be a vegetarian when I was three but I couldn’t put it into practice until I turned eighteen. I never wish I was a kid again!
Actually, this post was supposed to be about a movie.
The strange thing about me is that I’m not moved by overly dramatic scenes (in movies). Heroes who declare their love while dying for a righteous cause, crying, love and death and blood and war and love again…all these things slightly amuse me but that’s about it. I am moved to tears, though, by apparently common things – like a man who has been building doors for a whole life, a woman doing housework, rain, the face of a kid and the way he walks and talks, people eating. All of the above and a lot more I found in the most brilliant movie I have seen in the last few years, by an Iranian director, naturally. I only recently discovered this culture and I’m amazed by its very talented artists.
“Khane-ye doust kodjast?” (“Where Is the Friend’s Home?”) is one of the older movies (1987) of Abbas Kiarostami. For those who don’t remember how it really felt like to be a kid – this movie brings it all back. For those people who think that life is too boring to be on screen, this movie is a slap in the face. For those who believe that you need a budget of a few million dollars in order to make a good movie…this movie proves you wrong!
I found this little fragment of the movie, but it’s not translated. The main story is very simple – this kid is trying very hard to find his friend’s house in a village over the hill from his in order to give the friend back a notebook. He’s asking everyone where his friend lives but nobody is paying attention and he’s running out of time (his parents are going to give him a beating if he’s late coming home). If he fails to deliver the notebook, the friend will be in big trouble at school the next day.
This is an interview with the director (with subtitles, yeey!). I liked it because what he says can be applied to all arts and to life in general, not only to movies.
And this is a short from the same director, from 1982, which I was really happy to find (with subtitles). I think this movie plays on some political ideas (or maybe just one such idea) but I’m not too sure of it and I don’t want to get into that now. Enjoy “Hamsarayan” (“The Chorus”), part one and part two!
Pare corect ce spui până când realizezi ce ai acum şi nu aveai atunci: amărăciunea; sentimentul de a trăi într-o lume dezvrăjită; sentimentul că nu mai sunt lucruri pe care să le faci pentru prima dată, şi că îţi treci viaţa repetându-te; sentimentul vidului; sila. Dacă eşti onestă, vei admite că nu cunoşteai trăirile astea în copilărie, că sunt un produs exclusiv al vârstei adulte. E drept că şi atunci aveai supărări, frustrări, lacrimi, gelozii şi invidii, chiar ură – dar nici una din cele de mai sus care fac viaţa un chin.
Da, ai dreptate, dar toate astea mi se par mizilicuri pe langa frustrarea de a fi mic. Poate tu nu simti la fel, dar eu am fost intotdeauna convinsa (in viata mea de adult) ca amaraciunea si depresiile pot fi depasite cu putin efort, ca toate lucrurile sunt fermecate daca stii cum sa le privesti (la concluzia asta am ajuns, de fapt, in copilarie), ca viata este, intr-adevar, ceea ce se petrece inainte de moarte dar ca asta nu e neaparat un lucru trist ci intrigant ba chiar amuzant.
Nu am avut niciodata sentimentul ca nu mai sunt lucruri pe care le fac pentru prima data. Dimpotriva, mi se pare ca nu am continuitate fiindca in fiecare zi am noi activitati. Si mi se pare ca nu am timp pentru miile de domenii care ma intereseaza.
Ce vrei sa spui cu “sentimentul vidului”? Eu ma gandeam la asta ca la ceva…bun, transcedental, spiritual, o chestie care e de dorit…ma rog, asta e probabil influenta traditiilor orientale. In zazen de exemplu e tocmai aceasta stare de vid care este pretuita.
Sentimentul vidului… hm… Dacă întrebi, înseamnă că nu l-ai trăit. Este sentimentul că eşti gol de conţinut, o coaja doar. O sferă subţire între golul dinafară şi golul dinăuntru. Un mort viu. Trăieşti ca să nu mori. Nu, nici o legătură cu “golirea minţii” din Zen. Aceasta din urmă e eliberatoare. Prima, însă, e zdrobitoare.
Ce urat…nu, nu am trait asa ceva insa am simtit exact pe dos atunci cand am emigrat – ca sunt un continut fara carapace pe care mediul il controleaza, modeleaza, zgarie… Ca si cum n-as mai avea piele si tot corpul imi e o rana deschisa.
Fiecare cu barzaunii lui
yeah, being a kid has some advantages and some disadvantages. I always remembered it as a very fun time when I just played and had no worries about money, work, housing and sickness and death. Except the school part which I didn’t like at all.
I also suggest “Children of Heaven”, another amazing movie about kids which was nominated for Oscar and also won another 10 international awards!
I always said that being a kid was horrible. I still think it was, and I completely agree with what you say; I remember the exact same frustrations. The only part I miss is not having any worries about having to make a living myself. On the other hand, if my family had ever entered into real poverty, what could I have done about it? (One negative side to kids not having the responsibility – or power – to make a real living.) And I also got beaten up a bit as a kid – one of the risks that comes with being a boy in social environments like The Bronx. (But I don’t get beaten up anymore – well, not physically…)
I really like what Kiarostami said about how we can always escape in our imaginations. It’s so true… One good reason a lot of people in our society would be better off mentally if only they could develop better imaginations.
@ Cyrus
I guess it really depends on the environment you grow up in. Maybe I didn’t have an exceptionally happy childhood and that’s why I’m prone to think this way about it. I think I also was one of those kids who think a lot. No worries about death? Are you kidding me? I spent days and days thinking just about that…Everyone I talked to at school also thought about it a lot.
I’m going to watch that exact movie this weekend:)
@Richard
Maybe it’s just us, the kids who got beaten up, who think this way! I also got beaten up a lot when I was a kid (you wouldn’t expect this happening to a girl, eh?). Most of those who reacted to my post didn’t aggree with my idea. I still do believe that people have the tendency to idealize their childhood because they need a place (in their past) where they can go when they’re having a hard time.
From another point of view, I’m kinda glad that I didn’t have that happy of a childhood. It would be really hard right now to deal with the problem of “paradise lost”. Immigration is enough for now…Maybe in my next lifetime I’ll deal with that one:)
I also aggree with the idea of escaping in your imagination. I did that a lot when growing up and it did help.
The sad thing I notice is that media is destroying the little bit of imagination we have left. It’s one reason why I refuse to have a cable and watch Hollywood movies!